Sunday, July 27, 2008

Dangerous Liaisons

Whoa. WHOA. Is that a copy of Dangerous Liaisons behind that plate of spinach and feta stuffed chicken and balsamic strawberries? You know what that means!!! This girl is surfing the crimson wave!!! Therefore, I excuse myself for watching part, and in some cases ALL of the following films today :

-Mother, May I Sleep With Danger - Tori Spelling's mother should be happy she sleeps with anyone. Her breasts are anchored somewhere in her armpits. "Danger" dude is flippin' hot. A pms classic from the lifetime network.
-Black Knight (about a black dude who is a knight. FYI America did not invent racism, knights were racist too, loved watermelon and fried chicken jokes et al etc. such and so on)
-A full hour of Steel Magnolias and now I want a piece of red velvet armadillo cake.
-Hook - didn't Rufio die? Is that an urban legend?
-You know that movie "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"? Didn't watch it but I tried to find pictures of that actor's cock on the internet for like 20 minutes.
-and now, Dangerous Liaisons. Swoozie Kurtz! It needs some major BD Wong, but it is a superior film. BD Wong should have had Keanu's role. Malkovich deserves to get stabbed bya fellow actor of substance. BD Wong deserves to lay like a docile little lamb upon the magnificent, lopsided breasts of one Ms. Glenn Close. I do not "get" why BD Wong is not a romantic leading man. The way he orates on the psychology of rapers is so beguiling!

FYI that chicken I made up there on that plate SUCKED. So here's a really easy recipe for the strawberries.

-strawberries (how much can you eat in one sitting? Use that much)
-balsamic vinegar (enough to coat the strawberries-a few tbsps)
-sugar (pinch)
-pepper (to taste)

combine in a bowl and make sure the strawberries are coated. Let it sit at room temperature for an hour.