Sunday, April 20, 2008

Pesto Pizza

Making pizza at home for one can be an illuminating experience. See? See how it is shaped like a heart? I didn't even try to do that. IT JUST TURNED OUT THAT WAY. Because carbs and cheese love my ass-like, desperately.

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees, and...

Pizza dough for one:
-1 cup flour
-dash salt
-dash sugar
-1/3 a packet of yeast dissolved in a third a cup of warm water
-splash of olive oil

Mix everything together with your hands-knead dough and add water or flour as needed til that shit is dough. Cover with a bowl and let it rise on the counter top for at least 15 minutes.
Pesto for one:
-Trader Joe's pesto package-remove the stems and chop it very fine-or put it in the food processor if you own a food processor, which I do not-but I do have a blender. And bean grinder. So it is not like I don't have appliances- I do. Just not a food processor.
-one handful of pine nuts
-one handful of parmesan cheese
-one large clove garlic chopped
-2 tbsp olive oil


Pound or roll out the dough and prick it a few times with a fork. Cook it solo directly on the oven rack for 5-7 minutes. Remove and top with pesto, whatever vegetables you have (mushrooms, broccoli and tomatoes are good) and cook again directly on the oven rack for 7-12 minutes....I have no idea how long it took.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Let's Not Be Coy, Ladies....

There's only one reason I am learning how to cook: So my future husband (I imagine him as a scotch-and-pine scented Fox Mulder type, with the morals of a republican fundraiser and a bod for sin) won't search out blowjobs and casseroles from the scamps at his office.