Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Jambalaya Time

Hey, what happened to my photo of Joannie's boobs? What vile f*ckery is at foot here? Tipper Gore! Tell me what your name means and give me my titty pictures back! And sleep with one eye open cuz the batlight has been put out and Bd Wong is on the case...the case to find Lara's Titty Picture. Starring BD Wong as comissioner Feygala Gordon...I haven't had a drink in 5 days, fyi, et al.

Ok Jambalaya time. This recipe serves two but you can eat the other half later after you look at your 401K. Hope you don't keep straight razors in your house!!!


1 andouille sausage link chopped-mine came precooked but you should cook it before you add it so it doesn't fall apart on you.
3 ribs celery
1/2 an onion coursely chopped
1/2 can diced tomatoes
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup frozen okra
however much peeled, deveined frozen shrimp you want
I use 1 bag trader joes frozen brown rice. Use whatever/however much rice you want.
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp garlic powder
1 bay leaf

Okey doke! A little olive oil in the bottom of a soup cooking pan and getcher onion in there. After a few minutes, add celery. Add the andouille and the spices. Let these all get together in your pot for a bit and then add the chicken stock, the half can of diced tomatoes, and the okra. Bring to a low boil and leave it alone for a while. When you are ready to eat, add the frozen shrimp and then finally the frozen rice.

Brown rice doesn't seem to make this dish as gluey as I've had it in restaurants. Boo hoo. I kept it in the pan and cooked it down a bit but this is definitely a looser jambalaya. Loose like yours truly. But very good and very easy. Easy like yours truly. Awwww.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Joannie's Boobs and Red Pepper Hummus

Oh, good lord. I'm going to have to eat a lot of cheese to get my boobs to do that. Luckily, I am up for the challenge.

It's red pepper hummus day because my red peppers are starting to go bad. This shit is easy.

Red Pepper Hummus

1 red bell pepper
1 can of chickpeas
3ish cloves garlic
the juice of 3ish lemons
olive oil
some tahini
cayenne pepper

Do you have a broiler? Use it. Seed and stem (is that a term?) the pepper and place it skin up on some tin foil or a baking sheet if you are an elitist. Drizzle some olive oil on top. Broil until the skin is burning and bubbling evenly. The more burnt the easier to peel. This won't take long in the broiler-5-10 mins. As soon as you pull them out, place the hot peppers in a tuppaware and close tightly. Set aside.

I think Joannie and I would be friends. We both love worthless dull men AND worthless interesting men. We look stunning in green. But my ass needs work. As Roger Sterling sayz, Joan glides across the office like a magnificent ship. I need more ass and some major foundation garments.

Ok, peppers. After a while take the skins off. If you didn't eff it up it should be obvious how this works.

While the peppers are separating from the skin-yep, that's what they are doing there in the tupperware, crush and roughly chop the garlic. Throw it in the food processor, or in my case, blender. Add the lemon juice. We're blending now. Run yer knife through the peppers and throw them in to. We're blending. Add everything else. Do your thang with the spices. I'm not the spice police. Out of Sight is on USA. Git on it!